is fat
Hannah...
eats cow pats
Hannah...
is skinny
Hannah...
loves mickey and minnie
STUPIT GIRL...
STUPIT GIRL...
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
The Difficulty
Lines scrawled across the page, over words that could never explain.
I tried to describe how much my church family means to me. How much I appreciate their love and support and acceptance. But such grattitude is inexpressible and I am yet to find the appropriate words.
These three will have to do for now...
I LOVE YOU!
I tried to describe how much my church family means to me. How much I appreciate their love and support and acceptance. But such grattitude is inexpressible and I am yet to find the appropriate words.
These three will have to do for now...
I LOVE YOU!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
The Embarrassment
Even for all the embarrassment, he made me smile and put my mind to rest. I was stupid to think he had forgottem, to thing he had let go.
I guess you could say I'm complete..........
I guess you could say I'm complete..........
The Words
You could write me a book using words that were incomprehendable to me. Pages filled with words, beautiful words, to send my head spinning and make my heart flutter. But one, or even ten books would still leave me dissatisfied.
You could write me a song and sing with a voice that could melt even the hardest of hearts. Bars and staves filled with melodies only imagined by angels and, surely, only sung by them. All the notes in the world, sung by all the beings of the heavens would still leave me wanting more.
We could talk for hours about the things closest to our hearts that no other person knew. We could laugh and cry with each other and encourage one another with a million words. But even for your many words, my heart would be heavy.
But at the sound of those THREE WORDS my world would be complete - even if only for a second.
My heart would skip a beat and I would soon lose control. My whole body would be overwhelmed with joy. My mind would be flooded with thoughts scattered here, there and everywhere, about what I wouldn't know - incomprehensible thoughts. My hands would shake, or perhaps be completely still - either way, they would not be under my conrol. The corners of my mouth would quickly beam upwards and the happiness of my heart would be portrayed by the lighting up of my face.
They would be my completion.
You could write me a song and sing with a voice that could melt even the hardest of hearts. Bars and staves filled with melodies only imagined by angels and, surely, only sung by them. All the notes in the world, sung by all the beings of the heavens would still leave me wanting more.
We could talk for hours about the things closest to our hearts that no other person knew. We could laugh and cry with each other and encourage one another with a million words. But even for your many words, my heart would be heavy.
But at the sound of those THREE WORDS my world would be complete - even if only for a second.
My heart would skip a beat and I would soon lose control. My whole body would be overwhelmed with joy. My mind would be flooded with thoughts scattered here, there and everywhere, about what I wouldn't know - incomprehensible thoughts. My hands would shake, or perhaps be completely still - either way, they would not be under my conrol. The corners of my mouth would quickly beam upwards and the happiness of my heart would be portrayed by the lighting up of my face.
They would be my completion.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The Wall
From my early years I built the wall. Brick by brick. The cement that stuck them together was ruthless and would not give in to either push or shove. Each brick, each past experience that I’ve held too tightly, has helped build the wall.
I didn’t mean to build the wall, it was an accident I never saw coming. The reason it built up was because of my fear to be vulnerable and my inability to forgive. Each experience would add another brick to my life and they were accumulating fast.
Then came the pouring of the cement, the cement that would not give up and never gave in. As it poured out I started to believe that these bricks were an unchangeable part of me that I was unable to remove. The bricks stayed put.
Layer after layer I built the wall, each layer stuck firmly to the previous. When I looked up from my laborious work, I was surprised to see a smiling face looking at me. The smile was not one of happiness and joy, it was one of love and concern. He knew it was a bad move and urged and begged me to stop. It was easier my way, though, and I did not discontinue my work.
Although my work did not stop, I kept my eyes on the ever-saddening face, as the wide smile thinned and eventually was no more. His smile no longer mattered anyway, for the wall I was building had, somehow, without my consent, been built so high his smile was no longer visible. All I saw was a worried brow and two shiny eyes with tears falling from them.
One thing I’d somehow forgotten in the midst of my wall building was, all the people I’d left on the other side. Looking up from my work I saw that I had no one on my side of the wall, and that’s when the realisation of my loneliness hit me. Because of my focus on the wall I was building, the wall came up between myself and the ones I love.
In the midst of my despair and loneliness, I heard a voice; deep, rumbling. It shook the wall and made me shudder and shake. I was paralysed.
“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”
“I will build you up again, and you will be rebuilt.”
I didn’t mean to build the wall, it was an accident I never saw coming. The reason it built up was because of my fear to be vulnerable and my inability to forgive. Each experience would add another brick to my life and they were accumulating fast.
Then came the pouring of the cement, the cement that would not give up and never gave in. As it poured out I started to believe that these bricks were an unchangeable part of me that I was unable to remove. The bricks stayed put.
Layer after layer I built the wall, each layer stuck firmly to the previous. When I looked up from my laborious work, I was surprised to see a smiling face looking at me. The smile was not one of happiness and joy, it was one of love and concern. He knew it was a bad move and urged and begged me to stop. It was easier my way, though, and I did not discontinue my work.
Although my work did not stop, I kept my eyes on the ever-saddening face, as the wide smile thinned and eventually was no more. His smile no longer mattered anyway, for the wall I was building had, somehow, without my consent, been built so high his smile was no longer visible. All I saw was a worried brow and two shiny eyes with tears falling from them.
One thing I’d somehow forgotten in the midst of my wall building was, all the people I’d left on the other side. Looking up from my work I saw that I had no one on my side of the wall, and that’s when the realisation of my loneliness hit me. Because of my focus on the wall I was building, the wall came up between myself and the ones I love.
In the midst of my despair and loneliness, I heard a voice; deep, rumbling. It shook the wall and made me shudder and shake. I was paralysed.
“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”
In my paralysed state I found my voice and made a loud outcry. With everything I had and with my whole being, I screamed. It was a painful scream that shook the very core of my being. That was the moment when the mighty hand broke through the wall and shattered my loneliness.
He picked me up and whispered,
“I will build you up again, and you will be rebuilt.”
The Bridge
I’ve stopped on the bridge, my old self behind me and God in front of me. He keeps calling my name, but I’m too caught up with thoughts of what I’m leaving behind.
There are people all around me; some hold my hand while others whisper into my ear to look ahead and to see where God’s calling me. I stare at my father right there in front of me and I want to be where he is.
I feel as though I’m moving, but I seem to be going nowhere.
Then I hear it; they’re different voices from the gentle whispers in my ear. They seem to yell and it hurts my ears as the whispers seem to die away.
I pull away from the hands holding me, I cover my ears and, worst of all, I look away from my saviour on the other side. I crouch down trying to block out the overwhelming sound that seems to take over.
I look down and see people beside the bridge. There are no smiles on their faces. Some sport smirks while others seem to be angry. Their voices take over me.
I’m stuck in the middle of the bridge.
There are people all around me; some hold my hand while others whisper into my ear to look ahead and to see where God’s calling me. I stare at my father right there in front of me and I want to be where he is.
I feel as though I’m moving, but I seem to be going nowhere.
Then I hear it; they’re different voices from the gentle whispers in my ear. They seem to yell and it hurts my ears as the whispers seem to die away.
I pull away from the hands holding me, I cover my ears and, worst of all, I look away from my saviour on the other side. I crouch down trying to block out the overwhelming sound that seems to take over.
I look down and see people beside the bridge. There are no smiles on their faces. Some sport smirks while others seem to be angry. Their voices take over me.
I’m stuck in the middle of the bridge.
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